Two years ago my story “The Hand of God” was published in Dark Moon Digest #21. Issue #31 marks my triumphant return to their hallowed pages with “Nobody Rides For Free”, a story of hitchhiking gone wrong that’s Wheel of Fortune meets Deliverance.
Rake watched the blacktop melt into the horizon as Trisha hiked up her skirt and stuck out her thumb. Coarse hair sprouted from her dirt smeared legs, but Rake doubted it would hurt their prospects. Under all the grime Trisha was still a piece of ass. And if they put enough mileage between themselves and the shit that went down in Bellamy, they could splurge for a motel room and clean themselves up…
I recently wrote a new LitReactor column about my experiences promoting my book Kanye West—Reanimator. I learned a lot these past three years, and hope other indie authors find some of it helpful.
5 Promotion Tips for Small Press and Self Published Authors
What the shit is this you say? Only me milking the last remaining drops from Kanye’s withered teat like I was Luke Skywalker and he was a Thala-siren.
Why the shit should you care? What’s in it for you? Only 40 pages of new content, including:
—A New Foreword: “Kanye West—Origins”, on how KW-Re came to be
—The KW-Re precursor story “Beyond the Wall of Sleep in Redhook, Brooklyn”
—A review of Re-Animator the Musical from 2012
—Acknowledgements! Did you make the cut? Buy a copy and see!
—New author bios! Exciting!
—Blurbs! Both good and bad (and made up)
—A single homophone correction!
—A dedication to my wife!
—A new ISBN!
And all for only a dollar more than the original.
It’s been almost three years you say? When am I going to write something new?
Well, if you must know, I have a short novel currently out on submission, one that isn’t a parody, but who knows if and when it will see the light of publishing day.
So if you want me to keep writing, buy this stupid book one more time. I promise I won’t go for the triple-dipple like my name was Mr. Whipple.
My story, “Dreams of the Werehouse,” is now available in Hinnom Magazine #4. It’s kind of about a guy who turns into a house that is a gateway for beings from another dimension? Something like that. Print and eBook via Amazon.
Pete Gilman came to in an abandoned lot, vomit all down the front of him. Not again, he thought, as consciousness triggered a dance beat deep within his skull. He peeled his tongue from the roof of his mouth and tried to sit up. Every muscle in his body begged him not to. When he finally achieved a sitting position he noticed he’d lost one of his shoes. His clothes looked as though they’d gone on a bender of their own.
“Red Menace” is now up on the Solarcide website. Fallout meets Disney’s “The Story of Menstruation” in this tale of a girl’s first period. What authority do I have to write on such a subject? None! But to be fair, it is also about terrorism and poop.
The young girl lies on her stomach in front of a black and white television set. Growth spurt legs shoot out from under her cotton nightgown, bend upwards at the knee, and terminate in a pair of feet lazily paddling the air. Off in the corner, the girl’s father hides behind a book, a haze of pipe smoke obscuring his velvet robe.
Twenty-two tales of aquatic horror, now available from Severed Press. Edited by Cameron Pierce and featuring a killer lineup of writers. Includes my story, “For the Seafood Lover in You.” You may never eat Red Lobster again. Available in print and ebook via Amazon.
300 million years ago, family cymothoidae ruled the shallow seas of the carboniferous. Long after their oniscidean cousins took to dry land, they continued to resist evolution’s pull, resulting in their relegation to the bathypelagic depths as a relict population. Hypotheses abound concerning these and other “alien” inhabitants of the ocean floor, but there is little evidence of their origin being panspermian in nature.
In March of 1969, two entrepreneurs pooled their resources and opened a seafood restaurant in Lakelove, Florida. Two years later, a multinational corporation acquired the establishment and implemented a campaign of rapid expansion, one which would continue unabated for the better part of the next forty years. Despite multiple class-action lawsuits due to food poisoning and parasitic infection, as well as unsubstantiated rumors of fatality, the popularity of the restaurant remains at an all-time high.
You can now listen to the audio version of my story, “The Heart is a Monster,” over at The Breakroom Stories. A first for me.
Previously published at the now defunct Cracked Eye, it’s a story about toxic relationships and fear of the unknown.